Saturday, July 30, 2011

I fail at blogging. But here's a story about my favorite poop monster and the most significant event in my life lately. :)

This is my favorite poop monster all covered in spaghetti. The picture's a year old, but it's the messiest one I could find so it's most applicable!

I have a bad parenting story to share though I don't have a husband or children yet. I was babysitting my two-year-old nephew the other day. It's potty training time. After four failed attempts to go pee in the potty, I didn't even want to take him upstairs again. But I did. Once again, no peeing while on the potty. But immediately after I picked him up and stood him on the floor he sprayed the room. At this juncture, I should probably tell you that my brother's family was just moving in. They didn't have any of their stuff yet. I used a shirt to clean the bathroom and as a tub stopper to bathe the baby! And he'd already soiled the last pull-up so he was going commando other than his pants.

A bit later I looked at him. He had the poop look on his face. I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom; of course he didn't. I didn't trust his answer. I grabbed him and bounded up the stairs. It was a poop explosion! It came out of both legs of his pants, hitting every other stair and my foot. I put him on the toilet, but naturally he was practically done. I was gagging and so grossed out. I was praying that I wouldn't barf or come across as mean. It's not his fault and I didn't want him to think he was in trouble. He's just a baby.

So he's finishing on the toilet and I'm standing in the bathtub washing the poop off of my foot. That's when the the program director of my master's program called for my phone interview for admission. So I'm attempting to run through the poop minefield with wet feet that are slippery so I can answer the call.

I missed it, he didn't answer when I called back, so I began cleaning up the mess in the bathroom. I got the baby off the toilet. (It takes longer to type than then the time it occurred in.) Right then he calls back!! So I have a poop-streaked baby standing in the bathroom, I'm gagging on the poop smell, and I run out into the hall to try to persuade this man that I'm an ideal candidate to be a marriage and family therapist. I've not even managed to get the baby to use the toilet! I'm gesturing instructions to hold still and be quiet to the baby, trying to be calm and collected, and only able to hear every third word the program director says because the baby's my primary concern.

I got in, all the poop was cleaned, the baby was bathed, and all was well with the world, but I sat down in the floor and cried for a couple of minutes once the baby crashed for his nap!!

I won't be attending classes at this campus, but I got in!!! For the first time in 15 years the Cougars aren't my school's mascot! I've been a cougar since middle school! Apparently I just traded Cougars for a Thundering Herd of Buffalo; we'll see if this was advisable or not at a later date.

1 comment:

  1. Hahahaha That's a superb poop story! Way to hold it all together enough to get in! :)